Indonesian Chicken Satay with Peanut Sauce

Does the mental picture of your children eating dinner with your guests during the holidays fill you with dread? You're not alone! But fear not, there's still plenty of time for a table manners tune-up before Thanksgiving.

If your children are out of highchairs, you might wonder what kind of behavior to reasonably expect from them at the dinner table. When is it no longer appropriate for children to use their hands to pick up food? Can they really be expected to stay seated until everyone is done (without employing super glue)? Would it kill them to say please just once without prompting? It may make sense for your family to decide together what behavior is most important to you at dinnertime. 

You might even engage the kids in a conversation about manners and get their feedback about what makes sitting down to a family meal more enjoyable. You might find this post on table manners for the four 7-year-olds from Emily Post helpful as a starting point. Once you pick a few priorities, discuss them with the kids, remind them of their good manners goals each night before dinner until they get the hang of it, and give them lots of praise for showing off their new, improved manners.

To help you develop your own, I have come up with a list of my top 10 table manners that will help us get more enjoyment out of family dinners.  (Of course, some of these goals may be too lofty if your kids are on the littler side; you may have to settle for having them eat from the table without mashing food in their hair, or yours.)

1. Wash your hands before eating.
2. Put your napkin in your lap at the beginning of the meal, and don't forget to use it.
3. Pull in your chair, sit up straight, and keep elbows (and feet!) off the table.
4. Wait to begin eating until everyone is seated and served.
5. Use proper utensils to eat, and cut your food into bite-sized pieces.
6. Ask your neighbor to pass an item on the table rather than reaching across their plate to get it.
7. Chew with your mouth closed, and don't talk with food in your mouth.
8. Be an active and considerate participant in the conversation.
9. Ask to be excused before leaving the table, and clear your plate.  (You may also want to ask your family to load their plates in the dishwasher and clear something extra.)
10. Kiss (I mean thank) the cook(s). (I'm particularly fond of this one!)

Good manners chart: Parents can print and use this sticker chart as positive reinforcement for good manners. (Enter to win a copy of the Table Manners Card Game from Golly Gee-pers below). 

Don't Gross Out the World: Your kids will love taking this interactive quiz on international table manners. After all of their hard work perfecting their table manners, your kids will be delighted to know that they can eat these chicken satay skewers with their hands as long as they hold onto the sticks and not the food. Or you can slide the meat off the skewers for them to eat them with a fork and knife while they're still practicing their skills. By the way, in Indonesia, many traditional families eat with their hands, however, it is impolite to start eating or drinking until invited to do so by one's host.